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Ashy Tribble
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In Philadelphia, there’s a new group bursting onto the scene. They’re called The Black Tribbles (http://blacktribbles.podomatic.com/) , and every Thursday they discuss comics and entertainment on their popular Podcast. Now that they are gaining the attention of newspapers and magazines, they have to deal with the growing pains of success.

One of the original members of the Black Tribbles left early on, but recently decided to make his media presence known. This has not gone unnoticed, and the entire affair is addressed in one of their recent Podcasts (http://blacktribbles.podomatic.com/entry/2012-08-06T00_33_50-07_00.). (This show is NSFW. Seriously NSFW. On an emotional level, it is like someone spitting on your mother, except its an hour and a half long.)

But in an exclusive interview with Black Like You, the man known as Ashy Tribble (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashy-Tribble/134290176715976) wants to set the record straight.

Interviewer: Thanks for agreeing to talk to us.

Ashy Tribble: My pleasure. I want to set the record straight after all the things that have been said about me.

Interviewer: Now, you were one of the first Black Tribbles, but you left the show in its infancy.

Ashy Tribble: Yes.

Interviewer: Why did you leave? That seems to be one of the points of contention.

Ashy Tribble: I left to pursue my acting career. It was a real schedule crunch, and I just couldn’t keep a weekday clear anymore.

Interviewer: I didn’t realize you were an actor. Have you been in any films that I might know?

Ashy Tribble: Absolutely. I was in Transformers 2, GI: Joe, and this year I got Avengers and Dark Knight Rises.

Interviewer: That’s fantastic! Who were you playing? Did you have any great lines?

Ashy Tribble: Lines?

Interviewer: You’re an actor. You have lines. Right?

Ashy Tribble: I see what you’re getting at. I’m not that kind of actor. I’m an environmental actor.

Interviewer: What’s that?

Ashy Tribble: My job is to be in the background, and sort of create the environment for the film with my presence.

Interviewer: You mean you’re an extra.

Ashy Tribble: Well, that’s what people outside of the industry might call it. We call ourselves environmental actors.

Interviewer: There’s not much money in that. How do you make ends meet?

Ashy Tribble: I’ve got my fingers in a few pies. I’ve got a day job as a dishwasher at the local Cracker Barrel. Actually, to be completely candid, I’m a sous dishwasher.

Interviewer: What’s a sous dishwasher?

Ashy Tribble: You’ve heard of a sous chef? He’s the second in command. He’s the right hand man of the chef. He’s responsible for a lot of the execution of the cooking. Well, it’s the same thing when you wash dishes. I don’t make a lot of the big decisions, like the kind of soap, or any of the immersion times, but I make sure the dishwasher’s plans are carried out. I’m like the first mate of keeping silverware and flatware clean. When someone sends a dirty fork back to us, that’s like the ship sinking, you know what I mean?

I’m also writing a book about incarceration, hip-hop and minorities. It’s called “Incarcerated Tarfaces.” It will be self-published.

Interviewer: Now, the heart of the beef with your group is your ‘Black Tribbles on TV’ Facebook page. It seemed intentionally designed to confuse casual fans into funneling traffic onto your site. What was the plan here?

Ashy Tribble: It was always my intention to expand the Black Tribble brand. There’s so many places it could have gone, it was always disappointing to me to see them just doing a podcast.

Interviewer: You do realize that’s a problematic position? As an outsider, I just see a guy who quit when things were hard, and then when things got better he tried to take credit for work he didn’t do. Basically, you’re Dennis Rodman’s dad.

Ashy Tribble: That’s oversimplified and kind of insulting. Even the name is mine. I thought of the Tribble part. Or the Black part. I don’t remember anymore. Even now, I’m on my grind. Black Tribble hand soap is dropping soon. It’s got my special, patented Tribble Juice, son!

Interviewer: I’m a little scared to ask…but what’s Tribble Juice?

Ashy Tribble: …Methyl Glucose Dioleate.

Interviewer: Oh.

Ashy Tribble: Yeah.

Interviewer: One last thing, you’ve become infamous for a suggestive, over the shoulder headshot that seemed oddly unsettling.

What was your thinking there?

Ashy Tribble: My photographer and I were trying to combine an earthy sensuality with a Mona Lisa sort of playfulness, with the accessibility of a black velvet painting of Jesus. I think we split the difference nicely. I’m very proud of that shot, and I’ve had quite a few drag queens compliment me on it, so I don’t feel like I need to apologize for anything.

Interviewer: Anything you want people to know?

Ashy Tribble: Like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, I will not be ignored. If I cannot be personally successful, I insist on sabotaging others. It’s what black people do.

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