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He’s a Boy Scout. Its not like he’s going to hurt me, right? Right?

7. Superman

It’s quite a list when Superman is only number seven, but trust me, the list gets worse. I won’t introduce Superman as a character because everyone knows who he is.

Superman blocks himself mentally from using his full strength because he’s afraid of its effects on his environment. It’s hard to figure out how many powers he even has, but Superman is preposterously strong by any measure. I have no idea how he holds a coffee cup, ties his necktie or manages not to crush Lois Lane like a piece of rotten fruit. Add that to all his random abilities and there really shouldn’t be anyone that gives him trouble.

The colors are weird because he’s been mind controlled. Why does controlling his mind affect color? Because… comics.

I think you know what’s coming next.

Well, you sort of do. For instance, you might know that Superman is solar powered and has great stamina. You probably didn’t know that he fought one villain for a hundred years straight. Or that he’s a skilled fighter who can paralyze his opponent with pressure point strikes. Or that he uses his mind to form mental projections. Or that he can see on a cellular level, which means he knows what the Coca-Cola recipe is, but he doesn’t think mankind is ready for the knowledge yet.

But this is comics, so you probably want to know about how strong he is, right? That, and if could he beat your favorite character. Well, here he is holding a black hole with one hand. A black hole the size of an atom is 113 trillion tons, roughly the weight of Mount Everest. This black hole was the size of a speck of dust. By the way, a speck of dust can have between 3 trillion and 500 quadrillion atoms.

Everest. Think about it.

So the answer is yes, he could beat your favorite character like a cop beating an Occupy protester. How do you even find villains for somebody like this?

Oh you’re a Viking? You better get down and lay down.

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