It’s difficult to argue that minorities suffer disproportionally from obesity, something that we’ve touched on previously. It’s also impossible not to notice that everywhere you go, regardless of race, black men are often seen with plus sized women. Many even seem to prefer large women.
But is that true? Or is that just a horrible stereotype?
It is pretty true.
But one of the things we hoped to do with these columns (aside from make you laugh) is to truly explain a perspective that some people might not understand.
There are some factors I think are worth mentioning, for instance, minority diets are often composed historically of undesirable and lower quality ingredients that were executed brilliantly (there isn’t much meat on a rib, or an oxtail, for instance). Depending on the culture, African physical ideals are different from mainstream body image ideals. Also, like I’ve touched on previously, income levels determine standards of beauty like few other things do. But I’d like to focus on the most salient points in my opinion.
That is Victoria Beckham, often in the media for her style and beauty. For the overwhelming amount of black men, she is not attractive. Now let’s be clear: men will have sex with someone they don’t find attractive, because often the act is separated from any emotional connection at all. (I cannot stress enough that men will have sex with anything, which has lead to many of societie’s ills.) But if they had a choice, this is not what they would pick, because she doesn’t have any curves.
Now this is Anansa Sims. I am no fool. She is obviously carrying a little too much weight to have an “ideal” frame. But this looks like a woman to me, whereas Victoria Beckham looks masculine. If I have to make a choice between imperfect frames, this is the call I’m going to make. There are women that are in shape and curvy (Vida Guerra comes to mind), which I am aware of. But I make real world choices. I have no interest in sitting in my basement waiting for a so-called ideal woman to show up. Now, our next point.
Women don’t stay the same as when you first met them. If they have children, they generally gain weight. If they get married they gain weight. If they get depressed they gain weight. If they’re happy, they gain weight. Pretty much from the first moment you enter into a committed relationship, soups on. And unless she gets to the point where the paramedics have to cut the wall down to get her out, no sane person is going to end their relationship just because their partner gained weight. After all, you probably gained weight too, and as a couple you have bigger problems.
So when you see that black guy down the street with a large woman, she probably wasn’t as big when he met her. He just isn’t focused on her weight gain right now because he has to meet with his parole officer.
It’s a sad fact that women considered overweight are often valued less by the people around them. They can get less positive feedback from their family and friends. While this is grossly unfair, it also makes them a lot easier to deal with, and in a relationship that is a lot more sustainable. Women who get positive feedback on their appearance can be entitled and kind of selfish if they’re not careful. Also, some people need a lot of time and money to maintain their appearance, and when you start a family, that’s just not going to be there.
I hate to put it in base terms, but do you know what happens when you have a luxury car and it starts to get old? You trade it in for a newer one, or you give up and get a Prius, because you don’t feel like dealing with the upkeep anymore.
I also want to be clear on something as well… there are some black guys that just plain like big girls. I’ve met them, and it’s true. I’m also man enough to admit that there are some hot big girls out there, so more power to them.
On the bright side, studies indicate that breast sizes in various countries are on the rise, so this is an issue that’s going to be more and more relevant as time goes on, and I would suspect that our ideal cultural model will change with it.
Is that for the better? I’ll leave you to decide.