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the vampire hunter

 

A master vampire hunter wants to retire because he’s bored. (What exactly would he do that would be more stimulating? Its apparently the Victorian era, I think its all downhill from killing the undead.) But as he talks to his assistant, a beautiful woman (played by Page Hannah in a performance so wooden, I think they had to examine her for termites afterwards.) comes in and begs for his help.

Although she is turned by down by the older man, she convinces the younger man to come help her, which is basically like the Joker breaking out of Arkham but the only person you can get to fight him is Robin.

The vampire is like evil Freddie Mercury. I can't.

The vampire is like evil Freddie Mercury. I can’t.

The vampire is waiting for revenge on the vampire hunter. He is one of the worst filmed vampires ever seen. He rates behind Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000, behind Richard Roxburgh’s Count Chocula in Van Helsing, behind Dominic Purcell in Blade Trinity. (Purple Dracula!) Maybe I’ve gone too far. I don’t care enough to describe the rest of this.

This episode and some others in the series has special makeup effects from Kevin Haney who went on to do Death Becomes Her, A.I., Shawshank Redemption and Iron Man 3 among other things, so yeah, even the smallest acorn can become the largest tree.

Good job, Kevin. Now this never happened, right?

Good job, Kevin. Now this never happened, right?

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